Wednesday, October 30, 2013

I learned that plans can sometimes go unwell when I was 21.

I got cancer.

So, buck up!

Friday, October 25, 2013

I cannot write like I used to.

I don't think that I'm good.

At times, I think that I don't deserve anything good.

Friday, April 12, 2013

an honest question

if i ever fall from grace,

will you still be with me?

Monday, April 8, 2013


when you already tell yourself, that you worth everything in the world and your existence does have a meaning,

there's always something, or someone, that keeps pushing you down.

back to that dark cold place that you were trying so hard to get out from.

i need a muse

i feel so tired lately. i did nothing though.

i'm always sleepy, though i had too much sleep already.

i can't focus in class.

i have no idea at all to write those papers i was supposed to write long ago.


if only i know the answer to that question.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Weekend outing,

with the Lunchsters.

We did simple things - brunch, movie and eating again. At KLCC, the usual place. It was fun.

I guess a break from the usually boring daily routines, though doing nothing much in return, is satisfying enough.

And before we all knew it, we are getting older day by day. The oldest among us was about my age when I first met them.

Life is different, with different stories for each of us.

Thank you God, for sending these people into my life.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

What a Weekend! - Friday (220313)

I shall break up the stories into three day: Friday (220313), Saturday (230313) and Sunday (240313)

Friday (220313)

The Twin Towers @ Live 2013 was happening. I did not plan to go until I received a text from Chazzie. Being members of the media, she had to cover the events - from the press conference until the second day of concert. It's really about seeing her rather than the concert since we rarely have the chance see each other after she graduated went to work in Johor. I just tagged along.

After sending Tham to boarding, we rushed to Hilton Sentral for the press conference. It only features 3 acts - U-Kiss, Demi Lovato and Backstreet Boys (yay!). Nana arrived earlier than us and she already registered for Dorkistic, and Chazzie went in.

I sat at a sofa nearby, to pass the time as well as, perhaps, catching a glimpse of U-Kiss, or BSB. I saw there was an exhibition-like thing going on at the same level, I went there to check out. Apparently it was a different event altogether.

I don't know how I get this crazy idea, but seeing that the people at the registration table were kind of busy doing their things, I casually walked into the room in which the press conference was held.

I kinda crashed a press conference! XD

Man, I was ecstatic! How can I not, to catch U-Kiss and BSB up close! I don't really know Demi Lovato though... sorry.

Long story short, I just sat there pretending to be a reporter while in the reality, basking in all the happiness of seeing my favourite boybands.  (>.<)

After the press conference, we went to KLCC for the first night of concert. We had a very late lunch, and straightly went to the concert venue. My attempt to squeeze myself into the media pit with the Dorkistic crews was unsuccessful (what a conman I am!) and I brought myself to the public, non-paying place. But it's really good enough, as an unplanned trip as well as enjoying a live concert without having to fork out any money, hi hi.

This is where the story gets interesting.

When I get into the public pit, there wasn't really many people. I manage to get a bench to sit, and being me, struck up a conversation with this tired-looking lady besides me.

I met an acquaintance there too. She came with her friends. I went to say hi to her, but then went back to bench where I came from to sit down. When I saw a lady giving away something to the crowd behind the railings, I went over to her to ask what's happening. That lady was giving away free tickets for the fanzone (rthe zone right in front of the stage)! She got lucky, her friends managed to get 2 tickets and off they went to the fanzone pit.

I bring myself just behind the railing near this tower where they have spotlights on. Quite sad for not getting a free ticket but hey, I still have quite a good spot here too. Struck up a conversation (again!) with a young Chinese tourist who was here for a holiday with her mom (her mom was there too by the way). She is an engineer and is quite interested in the mechanism of F1 racing. She's going to the race and asked me if I'm going, and I said I will perhaps just watch in on TV. She said I look quite young for a 25-year-old. (I truly think that it would be very interesting to do a sociological experiment on this XD). She watched the performances for a while and she then excused herself to go have dinner. It was a pleasure meeting her and her mom.

I then just stay there, all on my own, leaning on the railing, enjoying the performances. Atilia is certainly a very good singer. Well, her mom is Salamiah Hassan. She's definitely her mom's daughter!

It was very nice of the organiser to have breaks for prayers. I was still leaning on the railing. It was during this break that a guy crew (about my age) approached me and asked quietly, like whispering,

'Sorang je ke?' (Are you alone?)

I just nod and said 'ha'a' (yes)

He then reach into his jeans pocket and hand something to me...

It was a ticket! To the fanzone!

I was so overwhelmed I barely recognized his face. With an adrenaline rush, I quickly said thank you to him and off I dashes to the fanzone pit. but then I got myself thinking, I don't really thank him properly. After I got into the fanzone, I went to where he was stationed and from the distance, and I got to know his face when his eyes catches me and mouthed to him 'thank you!'. I then moved on as not to disturb him with his work.

At last! I got to meet U-Kiss again this year! *%$#!$%&()

We went back early as Chazzie and Nana wanted to get Fatone, and stay overnight outside of campus. They dropped me off at my college and I ended the night with a very tired body, but surreal feeling.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013

What's your worth?

If I am to have love and children in the future...

I don't want them to be the punchbag for my emotional baggages.