What's your worth?

If I am to have love and children in the future...


I don't want them to be the punchbag for my emotional baggages.

Monday morning, bad vibe.

I will not let them take me down, again.


I will not.


They don't worth my tears.


Buck up, self. Buck up.

Kata orang,
semakin tua manusia, semakin matang dia.


Kata Al-Ghazali,

matangnya manusia itu pada ketika 40 umurnya.


Sejujurnya aku rasa,

manusia itu bisa mati tanpa pernah datang matangnya.


Pada apa kau kira,

kematangan itu?

Pandangan orangkah,

atau kebolehan berfikirkah?

Jika pada pandangan manusia letaknya,

kau tak akan pernah matang.

Jika fikir itu asalnya,

yang tahu hanya kau sorang.

Lalu hidup ini,

sebenarnya mahu apa?

Mahu kenyangkan puas orang,

engkau mati.

Mahu sendiri,

dikata pula engkau si pelik.

Ini semua,

dua baris yang random.

Sudah lama tak menulis,

lidah kaku otak beku.

It's a long while.

A long, long while since I last updated this space.

So much had happened,

so much had changed.

I have a new life now,

a restart.

Well,

it's an old life, re-lived.

Not really new,

isn't it?

It's a different world,

now that is.

Mimpi

Dia, lelaki yang tidak aku kenali.

Mukanya jelas, taklah handsome, tapi sweet.

Tapi jika sekarang diingati, kabur langsung wajah itu.

Dia tak aku minati, tapi dia suka mengusik.

Kata orang London, tease.

Dan jalan cerita seterusnya, aku lupa

Yang aku ingat, ada demonstrasi.

Aku yang baru sedar akan rasa yang sudah wujud, tercari-cari dia.

Sehingga seseorang tunjukkan aku pintu, dan pintu itu dibuka.

Di sebalik pintu itu, ada dia.

Terbaring.

Kaku.

Dan aku meraung, in sorrow.

Dan mimpi itu habis di situ.

Entry ini sampah, dan dalam mimpi itu,

Aku hilang dia.

2PM Hands Up Asia Tour in Malaysia 2011

It came as a surprise, a very big surprise.

Never plan for it, at all.

A text from Chazzie last Wednesday saying she wanted to meet me. Thinking that she's here to meet Fatone, I said ok, planning to go home early on Thurday as it is a long weekend.

Then, she revealed the real thing. She (and Nana!) won a pair of tickets for the concert. with passes to the hi-5 session.

And the rest is history.

Well, the hi-5 session was short. Very short. I can still remember Nickhun's smile, he was the friendliest. And Taec's smile too, though he seems like in an auto-pilot mode. His eyes were dreamy, and he was as if he was not really there. All of them looked tired.

The concert.

I totally can't recall the song-list. Totally. I take the saying 'carpe diem' in every sense. I spent most of my time concentrating on the performances, and oogling on Taecyeon and Nickhun every time they came to our section.

I might do a recap when I get photos or videos of the concert, when I'm able to recall things.

Some highlights or little details that I like to record for memory's sake

-Taec kissed the roses before he gave it out to the fans.
-Heartbeat is daebak, theatrical and very dramatic.
-Taec jumped off to our section, even jumped off a barricade to go further up. Much to the dismay of his dancer and the security personnel though. Haha.
-They are very energetic throughout the concert.

Really, I can't remember everything! I've been reminding myself to enjoy the moment, and I really did. Up until I remember nothing, after the occasion. Haha.

This ranting is incomprehensible. Should sleep now, it seems. kkkk

Disturbed.

Sometimes, the best thing to do is, be silent.

The temptation to retort is, really, hard to resist.

Especially when the subject matter is alien to the other party and they know nothing, but it is as if they knew everything.

But it's not wise to do so when emotions are deep.

And so for the moment, keeping mum is the way to go.

Still, it's inevitable to feel annoyed, you know.

Haha, come on, just let this moment pass.

And you'll be okay.