A is what it is...

Mimpi

2011-12-01T12:40:00.000-08:00

Dia, lelaki yang tidak aku kenali.

Mukanya jelas, taklah handsome, tapi sweet.

Tapi jika sekarang diingati, kabur langsung wajah itu.

Dia tak aku minati, tapi dia suka mengusik.

Kata orang London, tease.

Dan jalan cerita seterusnya, aku lupa

Yang aku ingat, ada demonstrasi.

Aku yang baru sedar akan rasa yang sudah wujud, tercari-cari dia.

Sehingga seseorang tunjukkan aku pintu, dan pintu itu dibuka.

Di sebalik pintu itu, ada dia.

Terbaring.

Kaku.

Dan aku meraung, in sorrow.

Dan mimpi itu habis di situ.

Entry ini sampah, dan dalam mimpi itu,

Aku hilang dia.

2PM Hands Up Asia Tour in Malaysia 2011

2011-11-25T11:13:00.000-08:00

It came as a surprise, a very big surprise.

Never plan for it, at all.

A text from Chazzie last Wednesday saying she wanted to meet me. Thinking that she's here to meet Fatone, I said ok, planning to go home early on Thurday as it is a long weekend.

Then, she revealed the real thing. She (and Nana!) won a pair of tickets for the concert. with passes to the hi-5 session.

And the rest is history.

Well, the hi-5 session was short. Very short. I can still remember Nickhun's smile, he was the friendliest. And Taec's smile too, though he seems like in an auto-pilot mode. His eyes were dreamy, and he was as if he was not really there. All of them looked tired.

The concert.

I totally can't recall the song-list. Totally. I take the saying 'carpe diem' in every sense. I spent most of my time concentrating on the performances, and oogling on Taecyeon and Nickhun every time they came to our section.

I might do a recap when I get photos or videos of the concert, when I'm able to recall things.

Some highlights or little details that I like to record for memory's sake

-Taec kissed the roses before he gave it out to the fans.
-Heartbeat is daebak, theatrical and very dramatic.
-Taec jumped off to our section, even jumped off a barricade to go further up. Much to the dismay of his dancer and the security personnel though. Haha.
-They are very energetic throughout the concert.

Really, I can't remember everything! I've been reminding myself to enjoy the moment, and I really did. Up until I remember nothing, after the occasion. Haha.

This ranting is incomprehensible. Should sleep now, it seems. kkkk

Disturbed.

2011-10-11T00:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, the best thing to do is, be silent.

The temptation to retort is, really, hard to resist.

Especially when the subject matter is alien to the other party and they know nothing, but it is as if they knew everything.

But it's not wise to do so when emotions are deep.

And so for the moment, keeping mum is the way to go.

Still, it's inevitable to feel annoyed, you know.

Haha, come on, just let this moment pass.

And you'll be okay.

It's happening, again.

2011-10-08T06:48:00.000-07:00

The time when I feel like everything's crumbling.

And I can't do anything.

This, is depressing.

Kan benar...

2011-10-03T12:45:00.000-07:00

telahan aku.

Lama mata aku tanpa hadaman sosok kau di situ,
lalu hilang rindu.

Rindu?
Bukanlah. Hanya ingin, inginnya ada kau di situ.

Tetapi kau kini punya orang.

Dan kau yang lagi satu...

Aku masih punya rasa yang dulu.

Yang dulu suatu saat, kau aku butuh.

Tetapi kau kini punya hidup sendiri, yang di hadapan.

Tapi, tak apalah.

Aku sendiri kini punya hidup, yang perlu lagi mula dari asal.

Dan itu, apa yang kini aku pandang.

Pekat Malam

2011-09-23T11:53:00.000-07:00

Malam.
Malam indah, malam dingin.
Nyaman.
Pekat.

Kau tahu bukan aku sengaja halakan pandangnya mata aku,
pada kau.
Sungguh.
Bukan aku yang mahu.

Dan adanya sosok kau di situ,
bukan aku yang buru.

Tuhan.
Pada dia milik semua.

Cinta?
Taklah, aku rasa bukan.

Nafsu.

Play

2011-05-05T00:54:00.001-07:00

Russian Roulette.

Sounds like fun eh?

Sesungguhnya

2011-05-04T03:48:00.000-07:00

Aku tak bijak.

Dan aku tak pandai.

Kau tahu apa perasaannya duduk menghadap monitor komputer dan aku tak mampu menulis lebih daripada 3 baris ayat yang dah aku tulis di 'blank document' itu?

Dan tugasan itu perlu sekurang-kurangnya 5 muka surat.

Sakit kau tahu?

Sangat sakit.

Bukan kerana aku tak mahu.

Tapi aku tak mampu.

Dan yang aku mampu saat itu hanya menangis.

Menangis.

Tangisan yang sia-sia.

Pieces

2011-04-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

It has been quite a long while since I last said anything here. Currently emotionally, I'm in a jumbo mess. But that's life and I need to feed my soul with some humble pie.

Dear self,

Be kind.
Be humble.
See good in others.

So simple, yet so hard.

Till then.

Umpama sekeping kertas...

2010-10-31T02:40:00.000-07:00

yang kau keronyok sepuas hati.

Lalu kau buka, dan carik-carikkan dia.

Kepada keping-keping halus.

Lalu,
kau lemparkan ke lantai.

Dan dipijak-pijak umpama seekor semut halus.

Kemudian kau bakar.

Sehingga yang tinggal hanyalah abu,
yang bakal diterbangkan angin.

Where?

2010-09-17T04:28:00.001-07:00

At the bottom's bottom.

The Woman

2010-06-15T01:45:00.000-07:00

Don't talk about things you don't know Woman, seriously. You think that Your life is miserable. Have you ever think of my life that you made miserable? You don't know the truth Woman. You don't know. You only know the side of me that I let you see and what I let you perceive. You know me only skin-deep. And that's all about it.

This life is not all about you. There's something about me too.

P/S: Dalam masa 6 bulan ini, apa yang kau tahu tentang aku? Nothing.

Grief, the Epitome of Death

2010-03-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

Watching old reports on Youtube of the death of Lee Eon (the funny guy in Coffee Prince) makes me think...

Will there be any of my friends, who would cry...

for me,

on my funeral?

In the face of Tomorrow

2010-02-11T09:02:00.000-08:00

Truth is,
I am a bit,
scared.

But I don't want that to tear me down.

"You can't choose what life gives you, but you may make the best out of it."

I wrote this as a comment to a friend's Facebook status.

And I still can't believe that,
it came from me:

How you interpret happiness is how you see it...

Like, when you fall and you scrap your knee.

One may choose to cry because of the pain of it,
or another may laugh heartily for it's a remembrance that one still have a knee in which it could still stand (and scrap!) onto.

I don't know if I could still stay as positive after the outcome Tomorrow but,
I don't want to lose,
my own smile.

(^_^)

written with love,
-from me to me-

Cuz I'm bored...

2010-01-28T11:43:00.001-08:00

and can't get myself to sleep.

Needing...

2010-01-23T00:05:00.000-08:00

-In Kanji-

Kenapa?

2010-01-22T10:12:00.000-08:00

Malam ini,
satu pengalaman baru.

Makyung.
Menarik!

Tapi,
aku tak mampu senyum.

Penat.
Kata orang kampung,
'melancholic'.

Walau,
aku sebenarnya,
tidak mengeluarkan sebarang tenaga yang berguna pun kebelakangan ini.

Lethargic mungkin.

Kenalan baru,
dibelanja minum.
Terima kasih. :)

Tanpa alasan,
rasa mahu menangis.

Rasa mahu dipeluk,
for comfort.
Untuk tenang.

Tapi,
siapa?

*Sigh*

Sembamkan sahaja muka di bantal.

Awak...

2010-01-20T10:10:00.001-08:00

Awak.
Dekat.

Sangat.
Dekat.

Tapi...

Awak jauh.

Compulsive Rambling

2010-01-18T10:39:00.001-08:00

Opening up is not in my dictionary...
But sometimes, it'll just slip out without me noticing.

Smitten?
Crush?

You name it...
Because, I'm not sure I even know.

What it is, that is.

But I like it,

when I walk into a room...

and there you are.

Looking up to me.

Smiling.

Awak

2010-01-18T09:45:00.001-08:00

Awak...

Saya suka awak~

Kita kawan jom?

Note to God

2010-01-14T02:17:00.000-08:00

If I wrote a note to God
I would speak whats in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away,
For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God
I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end
For peace to mend this world
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God
I would say what on my mind
I'd ask for wisdom to let compassion rule this world
Until these times
If I wrote a note to God
I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts
And I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on

No, no no no
We can't do this on our own
So

Give us the strength to make it through
Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is going wrong
On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God

And the horror show...

2010-01-02T10:06:00.001-08:00

begins!

I'm in this...

2009-12-06T06:14:00.001-08:00

alone.

Pain

2009-12-05T04:17:00.000-08:00

I can't afford to remember.

Because, if I do...

I die.

Apparent

2009-12-01T01:55:00.000-08:00

Those spaces...

In between the lines.

The creeping,
underlying sense of unknown entity.

I wish I didn't have it.
Didn't see it.
Didn't feel it.

Oh,
how I wish!

Water

2009-12-01T01:48:00.000-08:00

Cold, but cooling.

Come and hug the broken pieces...
that is me.

November

2009-11-26T16:23:00.001-08:00

Come to think of it...

I haven't post anything for November.

Is it because life goes on as normal as usual?

Whatever 'normal' means...

Damn!

2009-10-11T10:21:00.000-07:00

I hate this feeling...

It's confusing!

The Pain of Grief

2009-10-05T03:31:00.000-07:00

I hope he's doing well
I'm missing him
It's painful to see him in pain

But how am I suppose to sooth him?
It feels so helpless...
As I am unable to help him.

I can't even hug him...
That hurts.

Is he doing well today?
How well is he coping with his lost?
It's so sudden that the pain hurts so much.

God,
please help him.
And his family.

Perhaps, just perhaps...
For me at least
He is the brother
That I never have.

I never know the kind of friendship
that could make me so happy...
and so sad.

Until now...

Thank you God for letting me know the good peeps.

~Al-Fatihah~

To,
the grandmother of Siti Fairuz Kawid
the father of Fiza Hanif Zainon.

Abang...
Akak...

with loads of love,
I love you.

(((hugs)))

Mantai

2009-09-19T10:43:00.000-07:00

With family.

:D

Eid Mubarak!

with love,
-atiqah-

:D

DBSK: Of rise and fall

2009-08-01T02:48:00.001-07:00

This picture was taken on 24.11.2007...

TVXQ 2nd Asia Tour 'O' Live in Malaysia.

I'll never forget the date...
for the concert was a blast! :)

What a very fond memory...
and to read this is honestly, not totally shocking for me.

Their rise to stardom,
is too, too sudden.

It's bound to happen,
H.O.T... Shinhwa... remember?

And though they'll resume their works with S.M,
it will never be the same anymore, isn't it?

And one day, even they're still together as DBSK,
they'll perhaps leave S.M Ent.

And seek for a new management.
Or manage themselves.

But it'll never be the same...
again.

Boring Boredom

2009-07-19T00:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and tired of mellow rantings...

Thinking of going swimming tomorrow.

Going alone is fine by me but...

Anyone wanna come with me?

To witness a platypus swimming.

Haha,

not funny.

For Kak Aton, an utmost gratitude to you

2009-07-16T01:33:00.000-07:00

You are indeed, a friend in need.

:)

Untitled

2009-07-14T01:51:00.000-07:00

What did I do for the whole short semester?

It was a bit of a rollercoaster ride...

First operation: o2o509
Medical leave: 17 days

Appointment on 260509
News: Positive Cancer

Second operation: 290509
Medical leave: 14 days

280609
Off thyroxine
Side effects.

Cultural Village
Where: Kuala Pilah, Negeri Sembilan
When: 090709-120709

New Semester

Semester 1 session 09/10

Credit hours: 12.5
Subjects: 5
Level: 3

130709
New semester started.
Didn't go to class.
Flu.

140709
Went to class.
Starting to go off seafood.
For approximately, a month.

280709
Iodine ablation (trial)
Full body scan.

I'll be a mutant...
Fatigue
Forgetfulness
Mood swings
Overly sensitive
Perhaps, more.

Please bear with me,
friends.

:)

Of Meetings and Chances

2009-06-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

Blessings in disguise:
New friends,
Bal, Joseph, Gerald,
The practical nurses.
They remembered me.

Chats...
Extra blanket.
'Better watch Devdas and cry'.
:)

Darussyifa', Bangi.
302.
Harun Din treats the first 200.
Owh... 'takda rezeki'.

By chance, 251.
Went in.
Wait outside, waiting for uncle's turn,
302.

A man approached, a 'perawat'.
'Bang, ambil borang ni, isi, terus masuk dalam'.
66.
Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah, for all your blessings.
:)

Eewww...

2009-06-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

Dunno why...

But I could still smell the odour of the hand sanitizer and the oxygen mask.
The smell of, a hospital.

That is...
gross.

P/s: Owh... I'm already at home. I'd been discharged on Sunday afternoon. Alhamdulillah I don't have to stay longer like last time, for the blood from the wound was draining fast. For the 1st surgery, it came out very slowly (initial night, 40cc), but real fast for this time (150cc for the initial night, and sudden plunge to only 2cc for the next night). Thank God they don't make me stay for hematoma whatsoever too. Tolerating better with anaesthesia, no throwing up whatsoever, but with greater post-op pain. Need to go back to the hospital this morning to draw out some blood, and set the date yadda yadda for the radio-iodine therapy at HKL.

A Quickie

2009-05-29T21:42:00.000-07:00

The surgery was done at 3.30pm yesterday.

Am now blogging from my hospital bed.

Keep smiling peeps!

For I am smiling.

:)

Scared

2009-05-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

I said previously that I am not dumbfounded...

I was.

But it doesn't mean that I am not
scared.

I am.

Hug me.

Hold me.

Somebody... please.

Adegan Drama Melayu

2009-05-26T01:40:00.000-07:00

In many of Drama Melayu, especially the old skool ones, there will always be one of the main casts having some kind of a grave disease.

Imagine a dramatic face of a doctor, saying this:

Maafkan saya... tetapi saya ada berita buruk yang perlu saya sampaikan. Keputusan ke atas ujian yang dijalankan menunjukkan encik/cik/puan menghidap barah (common in Malay dramas)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And I have my own Adegan Drama Melayu this morning, though it's not at all dramatic.

Dr. Goh: The result has come out... (buat muka concern dalam tenang)
Moi: Uhum... (takda perasaan)
Dr. Goh: The result has come out... (buat muka concern + mcm expecting an outburst of emotion or something tapi muka dia ni sentiasanya tenang)

It's cancer.

Moi: Owh... ok.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Like I was being told by the doctor that I have a slight fever.

Yes, I am not dumbfounded.

For I have brave myself for the worst since the very beginning I discover the lump.

But, Alhamdulillah, thyroid cancer is not the aggressive kind of cancer.

No chemo needed.

I will undergo another surgery this friday to remove the rest of the thyroid gland.

Wish me well, friends.

:)

Mountain Dew

2009-05-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

I miss you.

The luscious yellowish green that you are...
Delicious.

Where art thou?

Tag Un-done

2009-05-15T20:57:00.000-07:00

Unbelievably long tag.

Done.

Cut.
Pasted.

Unceremoniously deleted.

... ... ...

Damn!

Random

2009-05-13T11:43:00.000-07:00

I'm now in the middle of my 17 days MC and I'll be back in campus next Tuesday.

Classes and mahallah check-in had been taken care of last Friday.

The wound is healing; I can now stretch my neck and the swelling is lessening.

Next appointment is on the 25th.

Been wondering why I can't remember much post op, like I was in a daze or something.

And vomited a couple of times too.

Is this normal?

Googled and found the answer here:

Nausea and Vomiting

Post-operative nausea and vomiting is a common problem during recovery from general anesthesia. In addition, patients may feel drowsy, weak, or tired for several days after the operation, a combination of symptoms sometimes called the hangover effect. Fuzzy thinking, blurred vision, and coordination problems are also possible. For these reasons, anyone who has had general anesthesia should not drive, operate machinery, or perform other activities that could endanger themselves or others for at least 24 hours, or longer if necessary.

Okay, now I understand.

I'm normal.

Kak Raihan invited me for a hangout but I can't go; not allowed.
'Don't over-do yourself', said someone.
'Take it easy.'

Okay.

Really want to go swimming.
Play angklung and gamelan.
Hangout with friends.

Get back to life.

yawn~~

Midnight Mission

2009-04-30T13:14:00.000-07:00

As Lebam refused to lend me her laptop, I'm now on a mission.

(mission best sangat la... *pun intended*)

I will not sleep tonight, so that I'll sleep the whole day tomorrow at the hospital.

(kau ingat brilliant sangat lah idea ni A?)

Good idea.

(Not!)

..........
(ngantok...)

Postponed

2009-04-24T04:42:00.000-07:00

It was postponed.
Again... For the second time.

1st: 10/4 - Final exam.

2nd: 24/4 (today) - 2 emergency cases.

Checked in (ingat mahallah UIA atau hotelkah?) yesterday morning at 10am. I am perfectly healthy except for that approximately 3cm thyroid adenoma on the right side of my neck... and totally mobile. And so, the ultimate 2 days 1 night of total boredom started.

Nothing at all to do (whaddaya expect to do in a hospital?). Brought some books to read but a surgical ward, I discover, is not a suitable place for reading... Whatever I read does not get to my head. No entertainment at all except for the routine blood pressure and temperature check-up every few hours and that loyar-burok-of-a-practical-19y.o-male-nurse-named-Farhan (no pun intended, he's adorable!). Owh... and the free-flow of hand sanitizer with auto sensor (kak Aton will totally love this!). That's why perhaps, only perhaps, my last BP reading is 145/70-or-80-something-can't-remember! Gila high blood pressure kan... Hahaa.

The second postponement is a very last minute one as I was already prepped up for the surgery... No food since 8.30pm and no drinks since 12a.m. To keep me hydrated, a bottle of H2O was dripped into me through an IV at around 1pm and another bottle immediately after the earlier one finished.

But as the doctors do rounds at around 3pm, I was informed that it will be postponed at a later date as there is not enough time slot because of 2 emergency cases.

(T_T)

-Apakah???-

The IV was immediately pulled out of me and I immediately changed into my civvies (hospital's clothes is very unfashionable!).

And... Go home!

I fully understand the situation but am totally tired of all the ordeals leading up to the surgery.

Numerous trips to UIA clinic and H.S... back and forth, back and forth.

And last minute cancellation.

Bwerghh~~~

Today is the perfect date; as it's in the middle of the two weeks inter-semester holiday and there's time for recuperation.

The new date: 02.05.2009 (Saturday)

The day right before the registration of the short semester...

And I need to add Arab level 3, manually.

And I can't do it.

For recuperation will take, say, approximately, a week.

Damn.

For I have not eaten or drink from midnight, Mak brought me for supper+breakfast+lunch+dinner. And I ordered:

-nasi goreng daging merah
-kailan ikan masin
-tauhu bakar
-neslo ais
-sirap limau ais

I know that's wayyy too much, but WTHeck.

Another days of boredom awaits, starting 01.05.09.

I rest my case.

I'm Truly Sorry...

2009-04-22T16:08:00.000-07:00

... for any of my shortcomings and wrongdoings.

Wish me well.

I'll be back in a few days.

Cheers! :)

I Don't Ask For Much...

2009-04-11T00:25:00.000-07:00

Just a Lollipop.

Only...

a Lollipop.

credits: pix (Google), vid (Yoobyn @ yt)

A Woman's Worth

2009-03-30T01:18:00.000-07:00

A man expects from a woman for so much...
But are you worth her love?

You want her to put you through...
But did you protect her rights?

You want her to love you...
But do you love her as much?

Love her
Protect her
Be responsible to her
And give her her rights
Put her on a pedestal

And...
She'll be the sweetest angel for you.

For...
There's nothing more that she asked for.

If you treat me fairly
I'll give you all my goods...
Treat you like a real woman should
Baby, I know you're worth it
If you never play me
Promise not to bluff
I'll hold you down when it gets rough
'Cause baby, I know you're worth it

Wanna' please; wanna' keep; wanna' treat your
woman right?
Not just told, but to show, that she knows she's
worth your time
You will loose, if you choose, to refuse to put her first

'Cause a real man knows a real woman when he
sees her
And a real woman knows a real man
Ain't 'fraid to please her
And a real woman knows a real man always
comes first
And a real man just can't deny
A woman's worth

~Alicia Keys' A Woman's Worth~

In honour of my beloved Mak, Zatiyah bt. Ayob.
Iqa sayang Mak...
Adik sayang Mak.
You're my life.

At Peace

2009-03-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

Comfort disguises itself in different ways.

"Blowing out the other person's candles does not make yours shine any brighter."

-In reflection of recent events-

Oh... How true.

Thank you Allah.

What you did to me does not stop me from living.

I am still breathing.

And I am thanking God for my family and supports of true friends.

I'm alive.

Older... and wiser?

2009-02-21T09:22:00.000-08:00

I'll be 21...
In a few more days.

I am definitely older.

But...
am I wiser?

.....

Space

2009-02-21T09:05:00.000-08:00

There's no need to talk if only to hurt.

Just let me be...

Ok?

Quotable Quotes

2009-02-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

Try to believe, the worth of happiness that you realize...
in the tears of your worn out sadness.
-TVXQ, Rising Sun-

A song will outlive all sermons in the memory.
-Henry Giles-

The pleasures of the mighty are the tears of the poor.
-Latin Proverb-

Too much confidence turns to arrogance.
Too much humbleness is self-inflicted torture.
-Tablo, Epik High-

I'm honest when I lie.
-A-

Don't Go

2009-02-19T05:56:00.000-08:00

credit: BehindTheYellowLine @ youtube

Rain

2009-01-29T01:12:00.000-08:00

I like the smell of rain...
Refreshing.

And it's raining now...

Cat & dog.

Eeeee!!!!

2009-01-23T07:52:00.000-08:00

I'd called.

From morning to noon,
then afternoon.

'Cik, surgical clinic engaged lah'

'Sorry miss, engaged'

'Doctor tengah attend patient, nanti panggil balik ye...'

And a few times more.

- Saya call regarding my biopsy and the date for my surgery hari selasa hari tu but was told to call today...

'Kenapa call petang ye. Hari tu saya bagitahu pagi... Doctor dah tak da kat clinic'

- .......

I DID CALL LAH!!~~

Amazed

2009-01-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

I’m amazed.
At how one could laugh heartily
When another is in so deep a misery.

I’m amazed.
At how one could hurl so much of insults and accusations
When another lips are shut tight.

I’m amazed.
When you think of me as what you think I am
And not as whom I truly am.

I’m amazed.
Of the set perspectives you have of me
For I am not what you think I am.

I’m amazed.
At how you twist my motives
And understand them from what you want them to be.

I’m amazed.
For our way of thinking
Is of heaven and earth.

Choked

2009-01-04T07:09:00.000-08:00

Strangled and choking
The air seems tight
The space is cramming
Tired.

Nowhere to go
Alone.

Stop ridiculing me behind my back
Stop thinking of me as what you want me to.

I’m me.

And if that’s so hard to do

Leave it.
And so be it.

Silence

2008-08-06T01:21:00.000-07:00

I am not verbal.

Far from articulate.

I simply don’t know how to.

But there’s just one small thing

That I’m wishing for.

For somebody to listen to me.

To pour my heart out.

My worries.

My thoughts.

And that’s all I’m wishing for.

Deprivation

2008-08-04T01:38:00.000-07:00

I’m in a very desperate need of books.

Good books.

Good novels.

But I’m penniless.

Flat broke.

...

...

...

Exam...

2008-06-19T22:41:00.001-07:00

Exam's over!

Non-Directional Hypotheses: There is a relationship between my laziness and procrastination.

Null Hypotheses:
There is no relationship between laziness + procrastination and my declining state of a thing called p.o.i.n.t.e.r.

Or was there?

Standing still... and doing nothing.

2008-06-17T02:47:00.000-07:00

I am standing still

With the light on my back

Looking at the shadows

Of understanding, love, passion and innocence

With empty, soulless eyes.

In the arms of velvet midnights
Alone, in the dark
With my hollow heart
And silent cry.

What I need myself to do...

2008-06-14T01:45:00.000-07:00

What I need myself to do... now being 2.0 and in true need of the meaning of life.

1. Learn to know and love the Creator.

2. Pray regularly.

3. Recite the Quran regularly.

4. Understand the religion.

In which none of these have I made the effort of doing.

The P word

2008-06-14T01:25:00.000-07:00

I am a Procrastinator... big time!

Truth & Lie

2008-06-11T05:54:00.000-07:00

It's not the truth that hurts...

It's the denial.